I cannot express what this blog has been for me. Not just this blog, but the act of blogging in general. I so enjoy getting my feelings out there and on "paper" as a general sense of therapy, but also to update our family and friends on our everyday lives. This blog has been a way to journal our lives, the good times and bad, and feel a sense of community with other moms and families. However, I feel like my blogging life needs a break for now.... so I wanted to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has faithfully followed my rantings and also to those who have come from the special needs community to offer advice and encouragement. I still plan on following everyone else's blogs... I've always been a lurker.... and hope that you all will continue to allow me to do so.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I know I have so many other things to blog about but this just has to be said.....
I cannot believe that the New Orleans Saints are going to the Superbowl!!!!
Can you even believe it??? As a southerner, I am so dang proud.
Bless their football-lovin' hearts :)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Well, I haven't posted in a while because we have been super busy the past few months. At some point, I suppose I will blog about all of that, but for now my heart is aching and I just want to tell you about today.
At 12:30 p.m., Finley Paul will start preschool. Sigh. I knew this was coming. When he turns three (double sigh) he no longer qualifies for therapy services at home and must get them through the school district. So we picked out a backpack, HE picked out a motorcycle backpack, packed it with some extra clothes, all of his paperwork, emergency medication, etc. and at noon I will load him up in the car and try to drop him off. Try. Really hard. Maybe tomorrow?
As this day has been approaching, I can't help but catch myself thinking about the day he was born. I keep thinking about how he smelled and felt and made those sweet grunt-y noises that babies make. I'll skip all of the in between, but here we are almost three years later and I still think about how he feels and smells often.
When the boys are running through the house, I will often grab one of them up and hold them as long as they will let me. I smell their hair and their cheeks and try to hold onto it for the days I will no longer be able to.
Which brings me to the syrup. Finley, inevitably, always smells like syrup to me. I don't know why... he just does. This morning he smells like syrup and blueberries (probably from the blueberry pancakes we had for dinner). But other days he smells like syrup and playdoh, or syrup and a diaper (gross, I know). So, this morning as I was holding him and smelling his hair, J.T. asked me what I was doing to Finley. I told him I was just holding my baby and smelling his hair and he said, "What does he smell like mom?". I said, "Oh, you know, syrup and such" as the tears filled my eyes. J.T., being the super-sensitive child that he is, came and gave me a hug as well, and then said to me, with a straight face, "don't worry mom, I DO NOT smell like syrup-n-uch."
So, will you pray for me today? I know it seems so small to some people, but I feel like this is a big step for our family and is one of the final steps to no longer having babies in the house. I feel like I am closing the door on a huge part of my life and the ache it is leaving is painful right now....